It's. Been. Too. Long.

Oh my goodness, where has the time gone????  In precisely 3 weeks, 1hour and 32minutes, Emily will be 1 year old.   One Whole Year.  Like that!!  

I keep thinking about Blog-related topics, especially when I am out walking with Emily (gasping in this heat I might add!) ... what it means to be a mum (absolutely delicious, unbelievable, lucky, amazing, incredible, beautiful, precious, intimate, sincere, unreal, over-the moon, surreal, in love, love, LOVE!); what it feels like to be a working mum (hard but satisfying, especially when it's pay day yay!); what it's like when you're tired and baby's not (interesting!); how I feel about still breastfeeding Emily in the evenings (amazing, not sure I am ready to stop, I am a little addicted!!) and life in general...

But I always find something else to do - usually checking Facebook or watching crap on TV!  But now's the time.  Now.  A crisp white page awaits me.  SO what's been happening lately, gosh where to start?  I guess we can congratulate ourselves on a very successful end of the year - with Chris on the Christmas shirt, he was working 5am/6am - 6pm/7pm most days there for a while, with not many days off so we didn't see a lot of each other, or Chris of Emily, and I was the main parent, all day, every day, every evening which was pretty full on as work was crazy in December for me.  It always is!  But we made it.  I timed my return to work exquisitely, only having 7 weeks of work until break up for 2 weeks... yessss!  It was divine leaving on that last day and fetching Emily from The One's and heading home, knowing I didn't have to think about work for over 2 weeks.  Such bliss :) 

We had a wonderful Christmas (at home and with Chris's family - Nana and Grandad) and New Year's (spent with guests and my parents at their Lodge) and generally were very lazy, ate too much, drank too much and lived life peacefully.  We saw the New Year in with Emily waking at 5am on the 1st of January from the light/heat/who knows so had gorgeous family cuddles in bed for ages - that's got to be my best New Year's yet!

And then all too soon it was back to work.  Yuck.  It's been a frantic first month back.  A new HRIS.  6 (??) new staff, I have actually lost count.  But all of that has meant a lot of work.  And that got me thinking how I really enjoy my work.  I like getting things done.  But I do think about work waaaay too much.  So I need to stop that silliness because life is for living!  This past week I haven't done much more than my usual working day, so not much time out of hours etc so I am feeling better tonight than other Fridays.  As Emily is such a little dream and goes to sleep early and easily, and Chris doesn't get home till quite a bit later, I was finding myself 'just quickly doing the odd bit/bob' which, as you know, is never quite that and easily turned into an hour or two extra some days.  Not exactly my usual style.  I am dedicated but let's get real.  Put it in perspective Jen! It's not that important.  In fact it's not important at all.  I just make it out to be because I am a bit of a diva/drama queen!

And so onto 2015... what does that hold for us?  Who knows.  All I care about is my beautiful little family (and of course wider family and friends!) and spending as much time together as possible, making gorgeous memories and having special times together.  The year has started off with our first official Daddy / Daughter Day, with Chris looking after Emily on Mondays!  So cute - they seem to have SOOO much fun!  Paddling pool, jolly jumper, tickles, cuddles, stories, walks, you name it.  It is so great they have this time together and Chris was kind enough to say that 'it's so easy being at home with Emily, but you Jen have trained her so well with her routine' Hehe.  I had to chuckle!  She hasn't yet had a teething Monday, and they haven't gone grocery shopping, where it's go-go-go from wake up to sleep time and trying to fit in the shopping and make it home in time for Emily's sleep - rush, rush, rush!  So that will be a fun day for them I am sure :)   But until then... sleep tight!

A new routine!

I can't believe I've been back at work for 3 weeks and our new little routine is now well-established!  How time flies when you are having fun (??!!)... well, not exactly fun but it's definitely not too bad!

Emily is a little dreamboat of a baby and sooo very happy with it all, which is such a huge relief to us.  It is definitely making being back at work much less stressful than I ever imagined, and it is getting easier by the day.

We have also had 4 days where I have worked at home which have gone very well - Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Emily has done her usual - lots of playtime and entertaining herself quietly (well, not always that quietly I must say!  She is in the process of perfecting her baby screech!!), feeding and watching Baby Mozart / Baby van Gogh which she loves, and it keeps her entertained for a good half hour.  Fortunately she has been so good with her routine, sleeping for even longer than she normally would which is really helpful so I can get my work done.  She always wakes up happy and ready to play!  So cute!

Hmm let me see now... what will I learn?!

Fascinated by Baby van Gogh!

At the moment, Chris is starting and finishing work early, whereas usually he starts late and finishes late, so Emily and I are lucky enough to only worry about getting out of the door on time in the mornings (we leave home at about 6.50am!), and he is here to help with everything in the evenings - every day except Fridays when Chris works his usual hours, so we have to get ourselves sorted in the evening that day.  

It can be tough, I'm tired, Emily's tired and it's all a bit go-go-go, but we get there and she usually goes to sleep happy enough and has a good long sleep (phew!).  Next year though, Chris will be back to starting late and finishing late, so we are going to have a swap around of Emily time.  He will do the morning routine and drop her off to The One, and I'll fetch her and do the evening routine, as I'm dropping off and fetching her at the moment.  So that will be really nice to share the drop offs and pick ups with Chris. 

Well it's great to know we have 2 lovely days ahead of us, no deadlines or work, to relax and recharge, and ... it's only 4 weeks to go till break-up day and the 2 week Christmas break - yippee!!  We can do it!!

Sleep tight everyone :)

9 months old!

Playing with her Jungle Book

The first of 1000 steps on our new journey...

Well, 3 cheers for Team Hodgson this past week as we all survived (most successfully, I might add) the first week with me being back at work full time!  I was pretty anxious last weekend as I didn't know how Emily would cope being with The One for an almost full day on the Monday, but I really shouldn't have worried at all as she was a happy little bunny, not phased by new surroundings at all!!

This photo was taken yesterday, so day 4 of being with The One... very happy and settled!

Neither Chris nor I slept all that well on the Sunday night unfortunately.  Isn't that always the case... you lie there waiting for your alarm to go off... Argh! I was asleep off and on from around 4am, waiting for Chris's alarm to go off at 4.45am, and then waiting for mine to go off at 5.30am.  So I awoke in a semi zombie-like state and just went onto autopilot!  

It was rather a shock that I just knew what to do and when to be honest, having spent the majority of the past 9 months not showering till at least 9am and rarely leaving the house till at least 10am if I could help it!!  I did try and train myself the previous week though using my alarm to get up and shower etc at 6am so I wasn't too jaded on the Monday!

Emily and I were ready very early on the Monday as I had some things to give to The One - nappies, wipes, Emily's toys and things, and I wanted to be able to settle her in properly and I wasn't sure how long that whole process should take - so we left home at 6.30am (gasp).  It all just happened so smoothly, I drove off in shock that neither Emily nor I cried!!  I fully expected to be a blubbering mess, I even told Emily that if I was, it was ok and normal!!  My rescue remedy drops and chewing gum definitely helped keep me calm, that is for sure.

But not a wet eye in the house... Am I a terrible mother?? I thought as I drove off.  And all of that day at work, I actually didn't worry about her at all.... Wow!!  I barely know The One, and yet, I was totally fine with Emily being with her.  Now that came as a shock too!  Plus it was actually a nice change of scenery to be in the office (this is simply a novelty and it will most definitely wear off haha!) and to be with my colleagues again.

When I fetched Emily - I could literally not get there fast enough - she was fine, but a little tired and had done very well for the day.  PHEW, I breathed a huge sigh of relief.  The only thing which was a bit funny was that she wasn't drinking her formula from her bottle.  Hmm!  Strange. She never does that with me or Chris, or others who have fed her before.  But Chris or I have always been with those people while they feed Em, so probably just getting used to a whole new routine. 

On the Tuesday and Thursday, my wonderful mother-in-law (MIL) came all the way to our house to look after Emily while I was at work, and funnily enough Emily was also a bit iffy with the bottle, so she tried the sippy cup and she had some on the Tuesday, and all of her milk that way on the Thursday - yay!  My darling MIL also cooked, did washing and bought us treats... plus of course had a wonderful few days with Emily!  So thankful she could help out as Tuesdays and Thursday will be my working from home days from this week onwards, and I was in the office the whole of last week.

Happily playing at home with my MIL

The rest of the week sailed by although I did have a bit of frustration with The One regarding routines... Emily's, mine, or The One's, but that all seems to have settled down and the juggling of 2 wee babies is getting easier for her and she seems to have them all in a good routine - whatever and however it works out.  I just have to accept she will do things a bit her way and while that is a little hard to do, the main thing is, is that Emily sleeps and eats when she is there, and of course is happy.  She is very, very happy actually, which is so lovely to hear.  Plus she is now drinking her milk from her sippy cup, yay!  So relief all round!

On the plus side, work has been absolutely fine and not too stressful (well, at the moment anyway!) which is a nice surprise and I am easing myself back into it all.  And this week we begin working at home on Tuesdays and Thursdays so we will see how that goes... watch this space :)

Where there's a will.....

There's a way, hopefully!  

So Emily and I headed back to The One's house yesterday for another attempt at a visit.  This was after we had been to the doctor and confirmed that Emily has hand, foot and mouth disease... great!  But she is on the mend and it's not serious - totally different disease to the one which affects animals, what a weird thing it is! 

We visited once the other little baby The One looks after had been picked up so as not to infect her.  And actually, it was much, much better than previous visits!!  Emily was a different baby!!  Oh it broke my heart on Friday to see her so distraught, but now we know that she was ill and couldn't tell us, because yesterday, while she did clasp her tiny little hands together (her classic sign of stress/discomfort), and she made a little whimper when being handed to The One, she held it together the entire visit and I am so proud of her!  So much so that when we came to leave, she seemed rather cosy snuggled up with The One and I kind of had to prise her away even!  Now that's an entirely different feeling I felt when I saw that, but rather that than the unstoppable tears of last Friday, any day!

So, we seem to be making some good progress.  We go back again today for another visit like yesterday when it is nice and quiet so Emily can bond with The One, and will see how the rest of the week goes regarding visits, Emily's level of contagiousness, as we may only be able to go in the afternoons, but it's better than not at all.  With heading back to work on Monday, I'll take what I can get to make sure my little girl is happy!

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, it's off to work I go....

Well, I officially have just ONE week left of my amazing, incredible, fulfilling maternity leave!  I can't believe how the time has passed!  I have loved it so much more that I imagined I would.  I always knew I'd enjoy not working - obviously this is the only thought I had pre-Emily... I mean, who wouldn't want to be off for ages :)  

It was strange, I finished work and was sad actually... I left in tears haha!!  It was such a mixture of feelings, overwhelming really, mainly anxiety of not knowing when the baby would come, not knowing what I would be doing day to day, and what being on maternity leave would actually be like!  

Thinking back, I don't think I realised that I actually knew NO ONE who would be on leave with me and how I'd spend my days.  It's amazing how little you know!  And then, I met one of my closest friends through my midwife when Emily was 2 days old, and things snowballed from there really!  My neighbour introduced me to another good friend, and my Plunket nurse put me in touch with another 2 mums in my suburb.  Plus my parents' neighbours' daughter (there's a chain for you!) had her baby at the same time as Emily and I got to meet her and her lovely coffee group, and soon enough, I couldn't keep up with the social engagements and appointments we had going on!  The calendar has been so full these past 8 months, and I could never have imagined it would be that way!  

What an incredible time we have all had..... I have adored the simplicity of life.  The organising of the household, and the old-fashionedness of running and managing the household.  Not really knowing too much of what is happening in the outside world.  And, actually, not caring either.  It is incredible how your life changes for the better.  You actually only want to be with your family and care for them and think about them.  Nothing else actually matters.

Unfortunately, I am going to have to care about others soon as I head back to work next week!  It will be great to be paid again that is for sure, and exciting to continue to plan our future and look forward to what it has in store for us.  I am also going to be able to work 2 days at home a week, so Emily will have maximum Mum and Dad and family time, which is wonderful and I am so pleased to be able to do that, so it's definitely not all bad.  It's just going to be different.

Transition Time...

Emily and I have recently started the sad task of helping her settle into being with her carer, The One, so she can get used to her and her home etc before I go back to work.  Unfortunately it hasn't gone as well as expected.  We had a visit last week where I fed her the bottle and lunch and just visited with The One, and Granny came too which was really nice.  This particular visit was pretty good but they went downhill from there!

The next day we went back and I had planned to leave Emily with The One for an hour so they could bond, feed her the bottle and lunch etc.  I had to go back after 40mins as Emily was soooo upset and wasn't drinking!  While I was internally distressed, I think I was quite calm on the outside, and as least I could get Emily to drink and eat with me, and then we came home for her lunchtime sleep - which I might add was 2hours (yay!), whereas it's usually 1.5hours!  I think she was very tired from the excitement / stress of it all.

Then 2 days later we went back again for another visit, because the previous one wasn't so great, and oh my goodness, was Emily upset.  From the second we arrived till the second we left.  She wouldn't take the bottle from The One, and hardly from me, and once she had calmed down enough I could get her to have a little lunch, but she wasn't herself.  She just seemed to be so extremely upset, even with me there... It was really hard seeing her so upset when she is usually so happy, all the time!  So we decided to do a whole lot more visits this week to help her settle in.

Later that day after Emily's lunchtime sleep (a short hour, this time), she just wasn't herself and seemed very quiet.  When I touched her forehead, she was really burning up, and had a temperature of 40 degrees!!  Wow, that was a terrifying moment!  We hotfooted it to the doctor who reassured us she was fine and had a viral throat thing.  She took a bit of medicine and was soon happy and calm again.  So I am hoping like mad that she was that upset at the visit as she wasn't feeling well, and not just because she was unhappy.

I have a feeling she may have baby hand, foot and mouth disease!  She was in contact with one of her little baby friends recently who had it, and she is definitely showing the symptoms... temperature, spots around mouth, on her hands and legs.  Oh dear.  The timing is pretty spectacular if it is!  We go to the doctor tomorrow to confirm it, and then will have to see what The One will want to do regarding our visits as she looks after another wee baby and of course, wouldn't want her to get sick too.  So watch this space on what happens!!

Pawprints on our hearts...

We had the unfortunate luck last week of having to put down one of our kitties and although I am still getting over the shock, I felt I should write a little tribute to our beloved Maxie.  

You know what the deal is when you get a pet ... they get sick.  Stuff happens.  You can handle it.  At least that's what you tell yourself anyway.  We have had to put down 2 cats now, and wow, it is just the most awful thing to have to do. 

Relaxing in the sun!

What made it worse with Maxie was he was very healthy and young, only 6 years old.  But he had a blocked bladder which was going to be too costly for us to pay for right at the moment, with me being on leave from work.  

Sneakily snoozing on the brand new lounge suite!

He was the most amazing cat.  I don't think he ever scratched me, or bit me once, and was so sweet with Emily.  He would give us cuddles, smooches and head-butts galore.  He was always so happy to see us and wanted to be a part of everything we did, often rushing in past me, through the laundry door and running round the house to see what was happening.  Of course 2 seconds later the microwave would go on, he'd get scared and would want to go outside, much to our annoyance!  But that was Maxie.  

Ahhh there's that little smooch!

A one in a million kitty, very loved by us all, and his pawprints will forever be on our hearts, along with Tom's.  I love you Maxie.

A true cat - loved his sleep!